Digital Transgender Archive

Interview with Xaundra Nawa

Xaundra Nawa identifies as a black pansexual fluid demi girl and was assigned male at birth. She is the oldest of two brothers and was born and raised in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Her parents protected her from a lot of the racism in the world, but she still experienced it. For example, while biking home as a kid someone in a truck slowed down and called her a “nigga.” Raised to be a black boy, it was difficult to explore gender even though gender was something always in the back of her head. The mother of one of her brother’s friends encouraged them to cross-dress, and Nawa never felt so at peace while cross-dressing. Nawa came out as bisexual and then as gay. Once she started expressing herself as a gay man, she was able to wear nail polish and embody more effeminate mannerisms. She was kicked out of her parent’s house and moved in with her grandmother where she was more accepted and was able to explore herself more. She then lived with her great grandmother and then stayed in a house where there was a lot of drugs and impromptu parties. She then lost her job and couldn’t pay rent, so she moved back in with her mother who required her to follow many rules. She then got into a car accident with her parent’s car, resulting in her getting kicked out again. Her dad told her they also kicked her out because they knew she was trans. She has a better relationship with her parents now, but they struggled accepting her for some time. Her brothers still don’t accept her. Nawa went to Regency Beauty School but didn’t finish since she didn’t feel comfortable having the power to tell others if they looked good or not. Nawa was once picked up by the police while she was wearing a wig and other feminine apparel. They held her overnight. When Nawa was 20 she attempted suicide and self-medicated with alcohol. She always felt like she was hiding something from people, which was an exhausting experience. She came out as gender divergent since she hated being a man. She remembers watching trans women through their transitioning YouTube videos. She doesn’t always identify as a woman though. She has a partner who is non-binary. She was on hormone replacement therapy once, but it was too expensive since her insurance didn’t cover it. She is currently in a polyamorous relationship with her partner who is trans non-binary and genderqueer.